dear k,

you had the prettiest eyes and i'll be damned if you didn't know it. you always said they were mako eyes and i used to giggle like the school girl i was.
i never gave you the love you deserved.

we used to wonder what it'd be like if we could move to the end of the universe and claim the stars for ourselves. we used to wonder what it'd be like if the world were filled with people of the beautiful, understanding sort. we used to wonder what it'd be like to fall in love.

i never thought there would come a time when you'd be too far away for me to hear you breathe. i never dreamed i'd have to learn to live without you. i never imagined you'd leave.

you still have the prettiest eyes and i'll still be damned if you don't know it. love moved on and i guess that's okay because you're happy and that's what i want you to be: happy. (you are happy, aren't you? that is happiness shining in your eyes, slipping through your lips and over your tongue like sweet wine and spilling out sugar words across slippery hearts, right? please tell me that's happiness and i'm not desperately reading into desperation because it kills me every time i think about how i really don't deserve you. never have. never will. and you're still trying, still there, still reaching, still waiting and damn i'm selfish for loving that.)

searching for smoke rings in the dark will only get us burnt.