five - earth and water

Shaeny slowly exited her bathroom, tip-toeing to the balcony. She knew that Nikolas had left feeling angry, and she couldn't say that she blamed him. He just didn't understand how much it had killed her when he left. She watched him enter the garden and sit beside her mother, speaking to her in hushed tones. Shaeny watched him with a reserved sense of affection. She had missed him, deeply, when he was gone. But now that he was back, she didn't know how to be. Didn't know how to put her emotions back in order at all. She watched her mother fade into the air as she usually did, and watched Nikolas stay seated, staring at the empty spot where her mother had been.

"I love you Shaeny." The words were as clear to her as if he'd been standing beside her. Her heart ached at the way they sounded; coarse and gruff, more a curse than a proclamation of love.

"From your lips to my heart, where they fade. Such is the journey of your words." She whispered back, her mouth suddenly stasting sour. She knew he heard, in some way, knew his heart broke. She felt it burn in every pore of her. But she couldn't bring herself to feel sorry.

She turned away from the broken man on the fountain in her precious garden and stared instead towards the border where Markus would be crossing within moments. She knew she couldn't actually see him; the border was very, very far away, and despite her excellent eyesight she couldn't see that far. As it stood, her eyes only could focus to the end of the long, long drive that wound it's way up to the front marble steps. She could feel him coming closer, felt the chill wisps of wind that licked at her skin and sent shivers up her slightly arched spine. There was something electric that shot through her whenever she thought about her betrothed and their quickly approaching wedding. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, and after trying to the first week that it started happening, she just gave up trying to understand. Some things, she supposed, were better off being a mystery. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and walked back into her room, sitting down on the bed as her thoughts swirled.

Sleepless nights had become habitual to her, and despite the fact that Nikolas was back and Markus would be arriving soon and she was nearly exhausted, she still could not sleep. She sprawled on her bed, her arms and legs stretched as far as they could. She breathed deeply, inhaling the still chilled morning air that drifted in from her open balcony doors. As she stared at the ceiling she pondered her fiancee.

She'd only met Markus once before, when they were very, very young children, and she couldn't remember a thing about him. She'd heard tell that he was soft-spoken and reserved, speaking only when he had to. He was smart and cunning, and every bit the strong ruler his father had been. There were also whispers about how attractive he was. A few days before their engagement had been announced Shaeny had heard talk of how beautiful he was from the maids who'd come to take her laundry. They'd giggled and blushed deeply as they whispered back and forth about his dark hair and sparkling eyes. She imagined that he must be very handsome indeed, for talk of it to reach maids who she knew had been raised in the palace and never left the grounds. She thought about it more, wondering if she'd be happy with him. If he could make her happy. She stared at the ring on her finger, thinking. It sparkled in the first light of day, throwing fragmented rainbows on the nearest surfaces.

"Am I happy now?' She asked herself quietly. She didn't really have an answer for it. She bit her lip and tucked her hand behind her head. She knew she was fulfilling the destiny set for her. She knew she was doing what she'd been born to do. She knew that the bond between the Earth lands and the Water lands would be strong enough to carry them through the battle, what with the Air and Light lands bonding and a second bond between the Earth and Dark lands when Faye and the prince in the Dark lands grew old enough. She knew that she was starting a chain-reaction that would strengthen their lands to the point where they could defeat the New Fire. But she didn't know if she was really, truly happy.

She knew she didn't need to marry Markus, that if she so chose she could put it off and marry someone she knew, someone she'd had time to love. No one in the Royal families were ever made to marry someone, but it was easier for them if they did. They could then ensure strong ties between the lands and the families that ruled them.

"I'm not happy, am I?' She asked the ceiling, and she wasn't really surprised when she didn't get an answer back. It wasn't that she really needed an answer either, even though she couldn't lie - reassurance would have been nice.

Just as Shaeny was contemplating wallowing in sorrow until Markus arrived, then doing it again after making a formal introduction of herself, a knock came at her door.

"Yes?" She called, not moving from where she was sprawled on her bed.

"Synnie?" Faye's voice cut through through Shaeny's grief like a knife, letting a smile spread across her face. When Faye was first learning to talk, she couldn't quite get the hang of Shaeny's name, so instead she called her 'Synnie' because it was easy for her to pronounce. Since then, the nickname had stuck, even though the tiny Faye knew very well how to say Shaeny's name.

Faye dashed across the room, jumping just before she came to the edge of Shaeny's bed. She lifted herself up as far as her tiny wings and the ceiling would allow and then dropped herself right down onto the bed. Faye and Shaeny giggled as the bedsheets flew up and the two of them bounced. To Shaeny, they looked like silver clouds they could control. Faye snuggled into her sister's side, wrapping her small arms around Shaeny's neck. Shaeny watched her sister with love in her eyes, a smile coming to her face.

"I missed you Synnie." Faye whispered, hugging her sister tightly. Shaeny sighed, hugging her sister back. Faye was so young, so very young. Old, she supposed, if you compared her age to those of the faster aging races. But for The Elder Ones, she was so very young. Still full of the hope and innocence that made children a blessing. Shaeny kissed her sister's forehead gently.

"I have missed you too, little one." She replied, her voice sounding far away. Faye watched Shaeny, her bright pink eyes far more intelligent than she let on.

"Shaeny?" Faye asked, her small hand turning Shaeny's head her way. Faye watched Shaeny's eyes change colors, saying more than her elder sister ever had about her emotions. "When you marry Markus, will you be happy?" Faye asked, stopping her sister's thoughts dead. "Will you be in love?" She asked, wise beyond her years. Shaeny's cool golden eyes simmered for a moment, as if she didn't know what the answer was.

"I don't know." She replied honestly. She hugged her sister closer, kissing the top of her head. "I suppose we'll find out, won't we?" She added, tickling her sister. Faye squirmed and laughed, tossing one of Shaeny's fluffy pillows at her. Shaeny stopped tickling her sister and stared at her for a moment, disbelief coloring her face.

"Oopsie." Faye whispered, before dashing from the bed with one of the pillows. Shaeny let out a laugh and followed her sister, chasing her around the room with her own pillow. The following pillow fight was massive and feathers ended up everywhere. Shaeny had just caught Faye around the waist and was tickling her unmercifully when her mother walked into the room. Anakta watched her two daughters for a few moments, a small smile crossing her face. She couldn't remember the last time that Shaeny had seemed so happy. "Stop! Stop! Stop Synnie! You win! You win!" Faye cried between giggles, trying to push her sister off of her. Shaeny laughed and kissed her sister on the forehead, hugging her tightly.

"I love you, little Faye." Shaeny said softly. Faye kissed her sister on the cheek and then looked into her eyes.

"I think you'll be just fine when you marry Markus. I think you'll be happy." Faye said, the wisdom in her pink eyes astounding. Shaeny stared into them and wondered where Faye had gotten all of her wisdom. "Besides, mama says that Markus is very handsome." Faye said, her cheeks turning the prettiest shade of pink. Shaeny raised a slim eyebow at her sister.

"Since when do you care what boys look like?" Shaeny asked, eyeing Faye with a growing grin. Faye's cheeks flamed a rather impressive shade of red and she buried herself in the pillows.

"Nothing!" She squeeled, and Shaeny was about to tickle more information out of her when she noticed her mother standing at the doorway. Shaeny stopped and watched her mother, her heart warming at the smile on her face. Her mother had always been so reserved, even more so after her father had died. It was nice to finally see her mother wearing a smile again.

"Yes mother?" Shaeny asked, standing up and straightening her skirts. It didn't help the feathers in her hair or clinging to her clothing, but at least she didn't look as rumpled.

"I have news for you." Her mother replied, stepping into the room with a gracefulness Shaeny wished she possessed. Anakta smiled warmly at both of her daughters before focusing her attention on her eldest. "First, Markus has arrived and will be meeting you shortly. And second, I have news of when Nikolas plans to leave." The mood in the room grew eerily somber as Anakta announced that, and Shaeny's smile faltered. She turned, her movements somehow stiff and controlled. She walked onto the balcony, forcing herself to stop being silly and to accept the fact that he'd given up loving her a long time beforehand.

"Oh? When is that?" Shaeny asked, cursing the way that her voice broke the smallest amount. She knew her mother heard her and she cursed that too. Anakta walked out to the balcony, placing a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder. She remembered the way she felt when she'd first heard that Khaliae was gone, and knew that intentional abandonment wasn't any easier. A part of her wished that she could take the burden from her and carry it herself, and another knew that Shaeny could handle it herself.

"After your wedding, as he promised before that he'd walk you down the aisle." Shaeny bit her lip, stopping herself from smiling. She'd almost forgotten about Nikolas' childhood promise to walk her down the aisle. She turned and gave her mother a small hug before stepping back into the room.

"I will go and thank him." Shaeny replied somberly, quickly walking towards the door and opening it. She heard her mother speaking behind her, but the words didn't sink in. "I love you both." Shaeny replied, waving the words her mother said.

Two seconds down the hallway and she realized that she was covered in feathers and then realized that she should have paused to listen to her mother, because it would have saved her the embarassment of running into the very warm, very alive moving wall just around the corner from her room.